


Meeting Among Stars

by venoz



Category: Haikyuu!!, 風が強く吹いている | Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru | Run with the Wind (Anime)
Genre: A little angst, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rating May Change, Smut, Soulmate AU, captain Kakeru, cross over characters, haiji is stubborn, only slightly AU, sports editor/writer Haiji, sweet summer child Kakeru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-04-07 11:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19084303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venoz/pseuds/venoz
Summary: Kakeru thinks he’s going a little bit crazy, when after Hakone he starts seeing Haiji light up like a shooting star.





	1. Chapter 1

Kakeru must have been going crazy. He was carrying on with his life pretty normally, considering the last few months, then Haiji had to go and light up like a shooting star. Did everyone see this? Was Kakeru _okay_? He was chalking it up to the post run haze. He tried to carry on like usual but realized that maybe no, he wasn’t quite okay because sometimes Haiji’s smile would send a glow around him like a Christmas tree. Kakeru had only _just_ come to terms with the realization that Haiji-san was so damn _nice_ and really honestly too attractive for his own good. 

And now, like a beacon, he’d light up the room. 

 

. . . . 

 

“You’re the one who made the section record aren’t you? Beat Fujioka in the Hakone Ekiden!”

A bright eyed second year was leaned over their table. Fanned out on a bright blue table cloth between them were pamphlets for the Track and Field Club. It was welcoming day at Kansei, and their table sat among many clubs all searching for new members for the year. Kakeru was unexpecting of the attention and crossed his arms.

“That’s not too important. We really did it as a tea-“

It was Haiji who cut him off. He could practically feel him beaming beside him, radiant and laughing. He clapped Kakeru on the shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t listen to him! He’s amazing and he’ll be captain this year to take you to the next Hakone! Are you in?!”

On the front of Haiji’s shirt was his favorite catch phrase, printed thanks to Shindou and popular thanks to the fan club. As he grinned and started to say it, the second year - Minami something or other - joined in. 

“- the steepest in the world! Sign me up, I want to learn from the famous Kurahara! We’re the same age! I haven’t been running as long as you, of course, but my mom says…”

Haiji and Minawhatever continued chattering on as Haiji began shoving pamphlets into his hands and discussing living arrangements. Kakeru tuned out their recruit, watching instead the lines of Haiji’s forearms as they twisted and glistened in the sun. 

“Kaaakeru, hello.” Haiji’s hand found his shoulder again. Kakeru jumped and realized Minami had already left. “You should be nicer to your new roommates! He really looks up to you.”

“Why did I get the feeling he watches videos of my section late into the evening?”

Haiji laughed lightly. “Maybe he does. You can use that to help you get recruits,” he said and Kakeru was reminded of Haiji’s ogre recruiting tactics. He thought of the time he had to endure an ungodly amount of time in the hot baths and shuddered as Haiji continued, “perhaps just keep him on the second floor and a bit away from your room.”

Kakeru had to have been day dreaming the coolness in his voice as Haiji said it and firmer grip his hand took on his shoulder. He tried distracting himself. 

“How many do we have now?”

Haiji rose his fist high into the air. “Ten officially!” 

“Ok. Six more, at least.”

“Six?”

“Well, we need a few extra guys. And I don’t want Prince to have to run unless I need him to.”

“Oh, you’re still…?” 

Haiji looked _disappointed_ and Kakeru scowled. Haiji should know him better than that now. 

“No. I just know it’s not what he wants. I want him to have the option to stay on but at his own pace and terms- without Hakone’s pressure.”

Haiji was beaming suddenly. “Oh captain, my captain!”

Kakeru felt a soft smile spread across his face. The next kid that came up was a first year. He knew Kakeru and had watched them on TV after his own high school track meet. Kakeru sucked in his desire to simply shove pamphlets at him and instead said he looked forward to coaching him. 

Haiji was humming along and peering out at the campus, “The twins are coming back, though? I’m surprised they aren’t here today, lots of coeds.” He laughed to himself and fidgeted with his knee brace. Kakeru watched him for a moment and had to remind himself that Haiji didn’t say he cared about the girls but that the twins would. 

“Yeah, I talked to them already. Jota wasn’t as convinced until I told him I had Hana coming back as my assistant.”

“You’re making me so proud today, Kakeru-san! You guys will be ok without me… you’re cooking has gotten better too.”

“I’m not cooking for everyone. We’re going to have a meeting at the beginning of the season and divide responsibility.”

“The student surpasses the master….” Haiji looked so bright and a little silly and stupidly handsome in his Hakone shirt Shindou had made. 

“Shut up, why are you still wearing that?”

“You don’t like it? I had one made for you, ” he leaned over and scrambled over in his bag. “Now that you made fun of me, you have to wear it so I’m not suffering alone.” Haiji winked, a tell to the old joke but Kakeru went still because around Haiji was a soft glow against a campus littered with students. No one turned. So, Kakeru was crazy. He gave his head a shake and slipped the shirt over himself. He looked down at it for a moment, the words _The mountains of Hakone are…!_ were glaring up at him in bright letters. 

“You’re better at this then me,” he admitted. “Thank you for coming today - you didn’t have to. I know you need to be getting ready. Don’t you start work in a few days?”

“Don’t remind me,” Haiji said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I haven’t held a job in ages, I don’t know what to do with myself. Haiji Kiyose - editorial assistant! Does it sound nice?” He was laughing but Kakeru could feel his nerves through it. He continued, “Maybe they’ll have a track team. “

“At a sports publisher? They might even have two.”

Haiji smiled again. He seemed all easy smiles and laughter today as he reeled in students with his charm but there seemed to be something just under the surface he wasn’t letting out. Kakeru had slowly been able to pick up on these things over the last year. Haiji’s crazed optimism that could almost completely cloud the soft undercurrent of inner doubt unless you knew how to look for it. He looked soft now and said, “I’m going to miss you all. Im not looking forward to being alone.”

A year ago, Haiji would never had said this to him. Through the last months, Kakeru had been allowed little glimpses of some of the doubt Haiji felt and hid from others. There was never a time that Kakeru wished these feelings on Haiji but the fact that he felt to share them made a soft warmth settle in his chest. Kakeru was thinking of how to respond. _I’m going to miss you, too_ or _You don’t have to be alone._

A group of girls were making their way to the table, carrying volleyball and soccer fliers. Haiji switched back on, his everything bright and inviting again. One of the girls began asking about membership and Haiji beamed at them, explaining that maybe one day they would be big enough to have a women’s affiliate but no, sorry not yet. 

“Bright side is,” Kakeru said, trying to keep the bite out of his voice and sounding like a casual male friend should in that situation. “Now you can actually bring a girl over without worrying about anyone hearing or trying to steal her.”

He knew he was digging but he hoped it wasn’t obvious. He was relieved when Haiji laughed. 

“Yeah, right. I’ll get on that. It’s been a while, I think I forgot what to do.”

“So, how long?” And then, because Kakeru was dumb and must have needed some torture in that moment he asked: “Tell me about her.”

“Ah…” Haiji looked thoughtful for a moment and pulled his bottom lip between his lip for the quickly before he continued. “Well. He. But yes, it's been a little while.”

It was like all the students around them stopped. They probably didn’t, in reality, because Haiji hadn’t said it very loud and no one was paying attention to them. To Kakeru, everything froze. 

“He?”

Haiji was _gay_? Well, at least a little gay. Okay, breathe Kakeru. Haiji was allowed to be gay, it didn’t mean anything. There was a burning feeling rising up in him, a swelling in his chest. If Haiji was into guys then maybe…

He became very interested in straightening pamphlets. Haiji was still watching him cautiously. He must have been making some sort of face because Haiji tentatively asked, “Does that bother you?”

It most certainly did not bother Kakeru but how could he say that calmly when it felt like his insides had sprouted wings and turned into fluttering birds? Kakeru didn’t easily get flustered unless Haiji was involved - he was certainly flustered now. He wondered why he’d led the conversation this direction when it so obviously was leading to disaster. 

“No!” he quickly reassured and waved his hands in the space between them as Haiji watched him patiently. “That’s great, actually.”

So, Kakeru was a nineteen year old boy going crazy who liked a boy and found out that boy (man) liked boys as well which hopefully meant he was forgiven for saying something as stupidly embarrassing as he just did. 

“It’s… great? Kakeru, you really are amazing sometimes.” There was so much confusion and relief on Haiji’s face and a smirk that was tugging at the corner of his lip. Kakeru somehow managed to fall a little harder. 

“Yes.” He swallowed and was thankful when a group of fresh faced first years appeared before them asking club dues. 

They found Kakeru’s 16th member that day. After their fan club and the news of the Hakone Ekiden had time to cycle around there was enough buzz that people were approaching the club table these days on their own and not the other way around. The University Welcoming day was a success and luckily, the conversation never steered back to Haiji’s love life. 

Kakeru was feeling pretty content with himself. For a moment he was able to ignore the fact that in a few days Haiji would be moving. 

That night, he dreamt of stars.

 

. . . .

 

He was definitely the only one who could see it. He was sitting across the table from Haiji a few nights later on the eve that he was scheduled to move. Everyone passed around fish and rice. The mood was light and jovial, and Haiji was laughing loudly as Musa was pulling funny faces. Kakeru felt a familiar twinge shoot through him as he looked over towards Haiji’s grin and the crinkle at his eyes, the soft glow that lit up his hair and made the world around him seem darker. It lasted for just a moment, a surge of light that flashed into his mind and then just as quickly was gone. It left everything feeling just a bit colder without it. 

It was four months since Hakone and the first time seeing he’d seen this phenomenon. No one had mentioned anything, no one had barely even flinched or seemed to take notice during each of these strange occurances. They were frequent now, usually every few days and especially seemed more common when combined with that tight feeling Kakeru got in his chest when he heard Haiji laugh. It was no longer simply a post run haze and Kakeru was certain he was not okay and definitely a little crazy. The worst of it all was the slow realization that he had been piecing together since before the race - that had only gotten worse since these hallucinations started - Kakeru was a little crazy _for_ Haiji.

So here he was, crazy and crazy for Haiji, the night before Haiji was supposed to leave Aotake for his new apartment. Kakeru stayed up late into the night with everyone and even later still as they started to go to bed, as if the longer he was awake the less likely it would be to happen. Haiji must have been lingering too, because he was still there with Kakeru once the rest had left for the night. There was a small wonder inside of him that hoped it was for the same reasons as Kakeru.

“I have something for you,” Haiji made his way over to him at the table and set in front of him a worn notebook and a fresh beer. Kakeru looked at both of them and tried to make a connection.

“I’m not old enough to drink, Haiji-san.”

Haiji shrugged and sat next to him. His own face was red from laughter through the night, his hair tousled from brushing his hands through it too many times (Kakeru had watched, breath stilled, each one of these times). “I won’t tell anyone,” he winked and Kakeru had to look away quickly. “And I wanted to go over some notes I have from this year, since you’ll be taking over as captain?”

Ah. Kakeru felt himself deflate just a little, nodded and leaned to peer over Haiji’s hasty scrawls. 

They were several pages in and several swigs of beer later, having increasingly lost both personal space and some ability to read what was before them. Haiji was leaning over him, pointing at a time chart and explaining the best ways to plan internals into the first half of the training year. With his chest pressed against Kakeru’s shoulder, Haiji smelled like dark stout beer and sweet sticky vinegar rice.

Several things were going through Kakeru’s mind. Like the fact that the room was soft and slightly spinning now, that Haiji told him two days ago that he was into men, that through the haze he thought he could see stars, and that tomorrow Haiji would be moving out. For good. 

“So, for the newer recruits you want to plan some intervals to build them up those first couple weeks. I’ve been looking into high intensity interval training to mix things up. It’s not ideal for long distance it can be good for conditioning…”

“I wish you weren’t leaving,” he found himself saying. Haiji paused and moved back just a fraction, but not enough to break contact.

“Kakeru,” he said softly. “You’re going to do great, you already do great! Look at everything you’ve done for Prince and you know you can call me anytime you need help with anything…”

“I don’t want to call you for help,” he was talking into his hands as he rubbed his thumb from one against the knuckles of the other.

“Why do you say that?” Haiji started to slowly pull away now but Kakeru reached for him and grabbed the front of his sweater into his fists. His face was a strange mix of shock and something else Kakeru couldn’t put his finger on because there was beer and the warmth from Haiji’s light flooding into him. What could it even hurt?

“I can’t think about you leaving and me having to call you for help,” Tonight was Haiji’s last night, if it was all a disaster it wouldn’t be one he would have to deal with for very long and well, he was bursting at the seams trying to hold it in for much longer, “All I can think about is how much I want to kiss you.”

And then he did what any crazy and crazy-for-Haiji person might do in that situation - he pulled him forward by his shirt front and kissed him.

For a moment, Kakeru panicked because he hadn't really thought this through. He had to press his eyes tightly closed to block out the cascade of colors before him. Haiji reached up and put both hands on either side of Kakeru’s face to kiss back, soft and gentle presses. A slight tug at his bottom lip, a soft peck followed by a deeper one. As they leaned back against the table, the edge of Kakeru’s shirt lifted up and almost as if unable to control itself one of Haiji’s hands was there to find soft, warm skin and slide slowly further up.

Kakeru lost the last tiny bit of control he’d been clutching too, breathed against Haiji’s mouth and kissed harder. Months of tension and want just flowed out of him. As tongue and teeth met, he stood and tugged Haiji up and towards him as he backed them up down the hall. He guided them towards his room somehow clumsily managing not to separate their mouths or completely wreck Haiji’s leg in the process. 

Then Haiji was pulling him towards the bed and gently pushing him down on to it. His hands were soft on Kakeru’s shoulders, barely gracing them as they traced down and then pressed against his chest to push him backwards. He planted his left knee on the bed next to Kakeru’s hip and gently swung his other leg over top of him. 

“Was this it?” He said softly and looked down towards him. Was this… what again? Kakeru could barely remember ten minutes ago, before he’d touched Haiji and before his skin was set ablaze by the contact. “Was this what you mean when you said you didn’t want me to leave?”

Kakeru inhaled shakily as Haiji let his lips trace his collar bone. “Yes,” he breathed and reached for Haiji’s shoulders to push his sweater off of him then grabbed at his hips to press him closer. Haiji’s eyes grew wide and glittered against a backdrop of stars. 

“Took you long enough.”

He pulled at Kakeru’s shirt and tugged it over his head, moved on to the edge of his sweatpants and then paused at the sharp inhale of breath.

“You haven’t done this before?” he asked gently. Only Haiji could be in the middle of ripping someone’s clothes off and seem gentle. Kakeru thought he should lie probably but Haiji seemed to know what he was doing and surely would know Kakeru didn’t. He seemed to take the brief silence as an answer.

“I’m sorry. You’ve had a bit to drink and I probably shouldn’t…”

“No! I want to,” he stretched up and kissed Haiji hard. Between their hurried breaths and soft murmurs he pulled at his own pants as Haiji fumbled to mimic the movements on his own. 

“Okay...okay….” he said softly. “Anything you want.”

Kakeru almost burst in that moment. He’d been thinking of Haiji since god knows when and now Haiji was on top of him and working his mouth down Kakeru’s abdomen and telling him he could have anything he wanted. 

“I don’t know what I want,” he panted. “I just - ah - want you.”

It was around the time that Haiji had his head between Kakeru’s legs that either of them said anything again. Kakeru was so blissfully content and unfocused that he hadn’t been ready for any words yet. Against the soft skin below his navel. Haiji whispered, “Can you see it?”

“See… what?” Kakeru’s voice was thick, and head a little cloudy because he frankly couldn’t even remember his own name in that moment. All he saw right now was Haiji’s eyes, round and glistening in the darkness of the room.

Haiji had paused long enough to allow Kakeru’s head to clear. All he knew now was that this burning longing in him was unbearable, the kind that rush through him and begged his body to arch. Why had he stopped? Kakeru reached down as he felt his body trembling and ran his fingers through Haiji’s hair. 

“ _Haiji_ … Ever since the other day I can’t stop thinking about you.”

There was a pause. Haiji kissed the inside of Kakeru’s thigh and lingered there for a breath of a moment and then rolled over onto his back and placed his arms over his face. They laid there for a minute, Kakeru’s chest rising and falling rapidly and his mind still a little cloudy. It took him a second to realize that Haiji wasn’t turning back towards him. Instead he sat up slowly, he let his hand brace Kakeru’s leg as he gently slid off of the bed and stood up. 

“It’s very late,” he said cooly. Kakeru searched for Haiji’s warmth there and couldn’t find it. “I’m sorry, I have a really long day ahead and I think it’s best we get rest.”

Haiji left, and the next day he moved out of Chikusei-sou. 

 

. . . .

 

“Something's bothering you, Kakeru-San.” Prince didn’t look up from his current manga, flipped the page gently and kept reading. “You’re pages haven’t been synced with mine lately.”

His tone was light and bored, but soft just enough that Kakeru could tell he was genuinely concerned. He sighed and turned his own page. Definitely not in sync. 

“It’s nothing,” he lied in into his pages of _X_. 

“Haiji-san has been gone two weeks now. Is that what’s bothering you?”

“No. Well,” oh what the hell did it matter? Haiji hadn’t spoken to him for two weeks, must have hated him now for some reason that Kakeru couldn’t piece together and this was Prince, after all. Drawn out pining and psychological torture were his thing. “I guess that’s part of it but I think - I think I’m going a little crazy.”

Prince flipped a page and gave a questioning _hmmm_?

“I’m hallucinating Haiji as a shooting star and now that he’s left everything looks… dim,” as soon as he’d said it he wished he could bite his tongue. He hadn’t said it out loud until then and it somehow managed to sound more ridiculous than before. 

Prince actually looked up now and side eyed Kakeru slowly. 

“Haiji is a shooting star?” He asked very plainly. 

“Yeah. Well,” Kakeru felt his blood start to get hot thinking about the next thing he was about to say: “He isn’t now because I haven’t seen or talked with him since he moved but he was. Actually, I think maybe he’s a comet.” Because every time he saw Haiji like that he was as bright an yellow as the sun which now that he thought of it, was also a star. He didn't mention it, knowing that Prince would point out that they were the same and he already got too confused thinking about this in the first place.

Prince looked over at him and asked, as if speaking to a very lost child: “Kakeru, have you heard of a soulmate?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some cross over characters will make an appearance instead of OCs. ;)

Kakeru sat crossed legged on the tatami mat in the middle of Prince’ room. He hadn’t even bothered to close his manga. Prince’s statement had been so simple that Kakeru was sure he was just being silly. Prince could joke, sometimes. Maybe this was one of those times. 

“I’m not stupid. I know what a soulmate is,” he said finally. He turned one of his own pages. Prince, on the other hand, had actually closed his book, set it down and was watching him through thick lashes and bangs.

“If you did,” he said in his easiest Japanese, seemingly determined to explain this to Kakaru in a way that made sense. “You wouldn’t look as confused as you do right now, talking about comet Haiji.”

Kakeru took a deep breath and set his manga down. “Then enlighten me.”

“So, you know the concept of a soulmate?

“My grandma talked about soulmates all the time.”

“Did you listen to her?”

“No,” Kakeru said slowly, and looked away. 

Prince sighed. 

“I don’t know much about it. I’ve never met mine, if I have one. I believe it’s a rare occurrence nowadays- there are seven billion people on the planet, to find the one among them…”

Trying to keep focus on what Prince was saying was difficult, because his thoughts were suddenly so loud. Prince was saying Haiji was his soulmate. There was a chill shooting up through him and sending his hair standing. He thought of Haiji plucking him out of obscurity and impending homelessness, of him sometimes gently and sometimes not pushing him the exact direction he needed to be, and of Haiji suddenly physically a bright light in the darkness. Though now that he thought about it, Haiji had always been a bright light in the darkness. 

The soft determined look he would get talking about Hakone, the way his eyes lit up before a run, the stupid persistent optimism, the bento boxes he would leave for them with the perfect amount of calories and charm all at once. Once, Kakeru had walked in on Haiji mixing creatine in their miso and he didn’t even look ashamed when he was called out on it ( _“Kakeru, it’s good for muscle repair and brain function - don’t you want to be a better public speaker?”_ ) Kakeru felt thick with a warmth for Haiji creeping up in his throat that he had been keeping pretty far down since Haiji had moved. And suddenly, he thought of Haiji leaving that night, of him saying sorry and looking so lost. 

Haiji had _left_. If Haiji was his soulmate wouldn’t he see and feel the same things? If Haiji was his soulmate, why did _he leave?_

Kakeru started to feel prickly with frustration again and realized Prince was peering at him curiously. 

“Prince, is it possible for you to see someone as - oh god- as your _soulmate_ but they can’t see you that way?”

Prince watched him carefully, something strange behind his eyes. After a moment, he looked away and said: “Yes. A person could be everything your life needed but perhaps not the other way around.”

“Then how the hell is that a soulmate?” Kakeru growled with a surprising ferocity. 

“I don’t know how this works, it’s not like anyone is in charge of it. I think it just _happens._ Who knows how? Why would you think you aren’t his?”

Prince was looking at him fondly and Kakeru realized that at no point in the conversation had Prince questioned or even asked about the fact that it was Haiji Kiyose he was seeing this way. He’d simply and calmly accepted it. With a strange softness Kakeru almost considered telling him what had happened between the two of them before Haiji had left but he thought better of it quickly and simply said: “I don’t know, I guess I feel like I couldn’t be that lucky.”

Prince was watching him so intently again that he felt compelled to continue. “I’m just… me. I’m not really much of anyone and Haiji is…. _Haiji._ ” 

“If Haiji is exactly what you needed how is it hard to believe you aren’t exactly what _he_ needed?”

“Thanks Prince but I don’t know -“

“Ask him.”

“What?” Kakeru sputtered.

“Just ask him.”

 

Haiji was having difficulty adjusting to life as a businessman, if that’s what you could call him. Externally, he was full of easy conversations, respectful bows and just the right about of overworking that a respectable Japanese member of society was expected to have. Internally, he was having a bit of a crisis. 

He didn’t like being cooped up in his cubicle for hours on end. There was only a brief window of the day that he could stretch his legs and get outside. This time was generally saved for lunch and Haiji would either choose this time to go for walks, eating lunch at his desk later, or use it for walks but with a hand roll gripped between his fingers as he tried soaking up as much sun and air as he could before the hour was up - that is, if his workload for the day allowed him to take the full hour. 

He didn’t have too much room for adjustment in his job duties as of yet and he was resigned to reviewing articles and editing before print. They were mixes of sports, jumbles of age groups and focus angles. Haiji had, in front of him, a large amount of articles ready for review. Some would never make it to print. At his level, he would need to review and edit them anyways. There was no one to pass any off to. _He_ was the one they got passed off to.

Haiji read a lot of articles.

He started tuning them out a bit, around three months into his position. They became a jumble of words, grammar errors to be corrected, and names he was familiar with from reading over and over to the point where they became like regular words. As a newer assistant editor, he typically wasn’t given big ticket articles. His email box was full of small opinion pieces, clips about products and at times a college sport article. Every new click held some apprehension in it. 

One day, a name caught his eye on the page and held his gaze there. He was frozen, hand stricken on his mouse and shaking just the smallest amount. He had suspected this would happen soon but it was early in the season and he thought perhaps he would have a little more time. Then again, Kakeru always surprised him. Kakeru had broken Fujioka‘s 10k record during the first match of the season. There were… too many thoughts tumbling into the forefront of Haiji’s mind right now, rushing through his body in rapid succession. The first, was an initial swell of pride in his chest, followed quickly by a small pang somewhere in the pit of his stomach of jealousy which finally settled deep at the base of his spine into an uncomfortable guilt. 

He didn’t deserve to feel proud of Kakeru, not when he had left the way he did. 

Letting his eyes pour over the words, Haiji managed to only just barely pause every time his cursor hovered over the familiar name. The author had included a photo, and Haiji allowed himself a moment to review that as well. 

Kakeru was rounding the end of the track, long legs flexed tight and stretched under him, a group of runners trailing behind. His hands were in loose fists tucked to his sides and his back was straight, almost bowed and his chest puffed out in front of him. Haiji had never really been able to admire Kakeru’s running form in full stop before. His mouth dropped open as he looked at it now. 

Haiji had been so stupid that night for letting himself get carried away but even as he looked down at the photo and looked at Kakaru’s wind blown hair and sharp determined dark eyes he thought maybe he couldn’t even be to blame for giving in that night. Most people would have, right? 

Except, Kakeru had no idea just how deep Haiji was, could never really know. Haiji had latched on briefly to a hope that things would be right and make sense in the world as he stumbled down the hallway with Kakeru, that he could see Kakeru stretched out before him like a line of moonlight and could finally reach out to catch him. It only took a few hurried seconds, a few softly spoken words, for the illusion to crash down around him. 

Kakeru was confused. He must have taken Haiji telling him he was into men and ran with it, like he was want to do. Kakeru was confused and, more importantly and just as Haiji had expected, he could not see the stars the way Haiji did all this time. Giving in and remaining on that path would have left Haiji to come to these same two realizations later on, deeper into things, and more ripped open and raw than he already felt. 

He let his eyes hover over the photo and Kakeru’s name for a few more seconds before sighing and marking a few corrections on the page. He inserted several comments on the shared file and highlighted his adjustments in green. He clicked on the next email, yawned and when he opened his eyes he stopped. 

He was having real shit luck today. 

It was a photo of the Kansei team. All sixteen members were spread out before him in sleek black uniforms; they were a line of long toned legs and winded smiles. If you got Haiji just drunk enough and under the right circumstances he might admit a weakness for legs. 

It had made the last year a little… difficult for him. 

In the center of the photo Kakeru was standing tall with a proud smirk on his face and his arms were slung around the two boys on either side of him; Minami and Prince. Haiji didn’t even bother looking at the article. He leaned back in his chair and laughed. 

“Haiji-san?”

Someone had been walking by his desk and stopped. A tall, broad shouldered man with a mess of dark hair pulled in a bun. He was watching Haiji apprehensively over the stack of papers in his arms. 

“Ah, Asahi!” Haiji leaned forward and clicked away from the photo. As the man’s eyes narrowed, Haiji added: “These articles are just so cheesy sometimes, I can’t help it.”

Asahi looked concerned, so Haiji clasped his hands at his desk and did his best to give a winning smile. It seemed to work, the corner of Asahi’s eyes softened and he shifted the papers in his arms. “Well, as long as they aren’t overworking you over here. I think an editor passed out last week.”

Haiji let his eyebrows raise as he went to a new article on supplements (he momentarily thanked the universe for the break from boys with dark hair and eyes and lean muscles who shone like starlight). “That’s different from marketing?”

It was Asahi’s turn to laugh softly as he glanced down at the stack in his arms. “Ah. No, definitely not.” 

Asahi started to turn away and back towards the conference room. As Haiji readied himself to brave the sight of Kakeru’s legs again he felt a shudder rush through him at the thought of his hands moving down a Kakeru’s thighs, of kissing the muscle just on the inside of his leg, and feeling it twitch beneath him. Of watching him round the track like lightening with focused determination, always looking forward forward until he reached his goal and then would turn - these days - to those behind him to help them do the same.

“Ohaiyoooo, Kurumaisu-kun!” He shook his head, a tossle of brown hair and playful eyes were peering over the cubicle wall at Haiji. He looked up, glad for the cheerful interruption and only slightly prickly from the nickname - wheelchair. From his limp and not from ever having actually used a wheelchair. “You went to Kansei didn’t you?”

“Tooru, I told you that you can call me Haiji. And yes,” he added wearily. “I did.” He was not normally hesitant to brooch the subject of Kansei, awkward trysts aside. He held onto his fond memories and connections to it close to his heart. On a normal day, it wouldn’t give him room for stutter. He would beam up with warm eyes and say: “Of course.”

But today the world was chanting _Kurahara Kakeru_ and begging Haiji to do the same. He felt like this was some inevitable crash he had unknowing set himself up for. Maybe that’s what entailed having a soulmate who didn’t match with you. Like this cruel and playful universe had to keep dangling them in the sky right in front of you to mock your star crossed fate. He hoped it wasn’t cruel enough that Tooru would soon be saying Kakeru’s name but Kakeru had gone and broken a record yesterday and there was no way Haiji would be able to avoid him. Kakeru had ran right off that track and into Haiji’s workspace whether Haiji was ready for it or not. 

“I just reviewed the juiciest article. Did you know Kurahara Kakeru well? He broke the college record yesterday. He seems like a running _genius_ but - _ah_ \- maybe not a genius in some other ways.” Haiji could feel his blood go hot suddenly. His eyes narrowed and Tooru rubbed the back of his neck, squinted his eyes and with his other hand waved at the air between them. “No, no I’m sorry! Maybe you were close, you should read this anyways. I’ll forward to you, it’s been sent to print already.”

There was a chime from Haiji’s computer as Oikawa Tooru disappeared below the wall again. 

“They mention you briefly, too,” came his voice through the wall. “Perhaps that’s why it wasn’t sent to you. I figured you’d like to read it, us knee cripples must stick together! Hey, you were laughing pretty hard. What did puppy-chan say? He isn’t actually _funny,_ is he?” Haiji would hear the playful smirk in his voice and sighed as he turned to the screen. None of this boded well. Nothing boded well today. 

While Tooru went on about playing against Asahi in highschool, Haiji rubbed his eyes, blinked slowly and clicked the link in his email. Another photo. This was unusual for a college athlete but he would be surprised not to see Kakeru on a cover soon if he continued breaking records at this pace. Kakeru was bent down, hands on his knees with a sheen of sweat glistening on his skin. His eyes faced forward and _sharp_ , but it was a look Haiji had seen before, calculated and out of focus. Fixed on something no one else could see. His lower lip was pushed out in a pout. Haiji could see the softness there at the edges of his mouth and in the lines of his jaw. He wondered who Kakeru was watching, somewhere off camera and finishing behind him. Haiji knew this face and could read it well now, knew the uptick of the corner of his lip was from pride - to anyone else, it was _menacing._ It was _not_ a friendly photo and when Haiji read the article it slowly began to dawn on him why it had been chosen. 

In a haze, he could hear Tooru asking him about lunch and publishing schedules but just as a question had floated over the cubicle wall Haiji read one last sentence that tipped him over the edge - about winning at the expense of others. He stood up suddenly, pressed his sweaty palms to the desk and in a very low voice asked, “Tooru, you read this?” Which was obvious because Tooru had said as much and had sent the article. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Haiji-san?” Tooru actually leaned his head around the corner this time. “Is something wrong? I know I didn’t miss any errors.” There was an edge to his voice, a sharp defensive coating that gave Haiji was short pause. 

“ _Yes_ ,” he breathed out but corrected himself quickly. He was trying not to shake, trying not to blame Oikawa. “Well, no it’s not your fault. I get the feeling Souka deliberately didn’t want me to read this.”

Tooru was softening to his normal self again, “Yeah, I thought it was strange they gave me a college running piece. It’s like them giving you a volleyball piece when they know they have me here. But,” Oikawa was eyeing him shrewdly now, a calculation occurring just behind his eyes. “They must have believed you were too close to the subject. I’m sorry, it’s already been sent up.” 

There was a tremor running through Haiji’s body that he was trying to quell. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and gave Tooru a small smile. “I’ll just go talk with Ishida and see if there’s anything that can be done.” 

He gave a quick bow of his head. Tooru nodded, and motioned him off. “Well, if you get back in time, join us for lunch! You never come out with us,” Haiji could hear the pout in his voice as he headed for the elevator.

Moments later, Haiji found himself on the fifth floor and in front of the lead editors office. Ishida’s voice was beaconing him in and he found himself swallowing hard at the lump in his throat and staring into the wary eyes of his boss. 

“Ishida-Kacho,” Haiji bowed low. He was digging deep for a bit of his normal charm but falling short of it. Spending the day slowly winding himself up over articles had his body tense as a spring and with that last reading it was threatening to explode. “I wanted to discuss with you the article on Kansei.”

“Which one?” Ishida asked slowly. Haiji rose to meet his eyes. 

“The one by Souka Ryu. About winning at the expense of others.”

Ishida looked like he understood, but didn’t say anything. He watched Haiji pointedly as if he couldn’t be bothered enough to worry with pretenses. Haiji pressed on. 

“I will speak to Souka, if you’re alright with that. There must be a misunderstanding.”

“Is there an error that needs to be corrected before print? Oikawa Tooru reviewed this, he’s one of my best editors. I reviewed this myself, Kiyose-san.”

He kept himself bowed and wanted to say that the entire thing was an error. That there was a mistake or maybe Souka was just a huge tool and a terrible writer. Instead Haiji took a deep breath and tried twisting the words.

“I have the utmost respect for you. I think that if you ran this article how it is now there risk for making us look poorly - little more than a gossip column. Tooru, couldn’t have known. I’ll correct this if you’ll allow it. I’ll speak with Souka personally.”

Ishida was watching him through shrewd eyes. “What is the issue here?”

Haiji could still feel the adrenaline rushing through him. What _was_ the issue here? Most of the article was factually true but twisted in such a hideous way it made Haiji sick. He was physically ill thinking of all those words and anyone still being able to associate them with Kakeru no matter how true a few of them used to be - they were irrelevant to this team and who he was now. It was a low mark to use it in the wake of his victory to ride as a means to sell papers. He played the words in his mouth and settled for: “This is… a misrepresentation of the Kansei team and their captain.”

“Souka spoke with multiple sources to write this article. I realize that you have a personal experience with this team, so I’m sorry that you feel there is something that we missed, but it’s a very unbiased which is why I believe he did not come to you before now.”

Haiji’s throat tightened at that. He was biased. It didn’t mean he was wrong.

“Sir, with all do respect - this is nearing slander. I ran with Kurahara for a year, I know him.”

Ishida was watching him carefully and Haiji could tell that the conversation was already passing them by. Ishida would be on to the next and ushering him out the door.

“And the people interviewed ran with him as well, and have known him longer years than you. We’re publishing tomorrow, Kiyose. If you have any grammar or fluidity issues that can be addressed please let me know. Otherwise we are running the article.”

As the office door clicked behind him, Haiji felt like he suddenly had lost a race he hadn’t known to train for. 

 

The sun was high over the track and beside Kakeru, Hanako was watching the boys lap around them with the stopwatch clutched in her hand. She was bouncing excitedly as she cheered for the last of them, calling out times for Kakeru to record in the tattered notebook Haiji had left for him. When the last of the interval was complete, he called out for a five minute rest and water break and watched the team collapse on the opposite side of the lane from them. A fair distance from their abusers, he assumed.

“Hey Kakeru,” Hanako was shifting to turn towards him, pointedly blushing and looking away from the twins as they poked and prodded at each other. “That’s Haiji-san’s old notebook, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

Musa was lamenting about only getting five minutes. Besides him Shindou rolled his eyes and Prince stared meekly at the grass he was plucking between his fingers.

“Oi,” Kakeru called to them. “If you want a longer break finish your section faster,” which was maybe a little cruel - the ogre had taught him, after all. There was a softness to it to keep the taunt from having too much bite. Haiji had taught him that, too. 

Bubbling beside him, Hana was peering at the notebook more closely. Her voice was an excited whisper. “Any secrets he keeps in there?”

Kakeru let the outside of him go still but felt his stomach flutter. “No, why would there be?”

But there was. Just one. 

“Well, Haiji-san was always pretty secretive, don’t you think? Where did he bother keeping them all? It’s got to be hard keeping them to himself!”

Kakeru thought of the first few pages in the notebook, of scribbles about the Tenth Man, of Kakeru’s name at the top of a page, a funny symbol that looked like a star, and the words _beautiful form._ Next to it there was a mess of lines, scribbling away words that Kakaru could just barely make out in the indent of the paper…

“Sorry. Just track notes.”

“Ugh. Uncool,” and she huffed in disappointment. 

_...and eyes and legs._

Kakeru closed the book, clutched it against him, let his fingers curl into a first and called for the next interval. He decided to run this one with the team.

 

 

“Kakeru…”

The line was very silent for a moment and Haiji thought that perhaps there was a bad connection on his phone. He had gotten home from work that day and felt like he was going to be sick from dread. It had taken him several tries of picking his phone up and setting it back down, of running a hand through his hair and sighing, before he finally dialed. He repeated himself. “Kakaru?”

 

 

“I’m here,” Kakeru said after a moment. He sat on the grass with his legs stretched out in front of him, a little ways away from the rest of the team who had circled around Hana as she led them through a cool down stretch. He had stepped away - hesitant about answering where anyone could hear him but too anxious not to pick up. 

As he leaned forward to reach his toes, Haiji’s words laced through him like electricity. 

“Look I’m - I need to speak with you about something.”

A pause. Kakeru could feel his heart in his throat. He looked over at the group, didn’t pull up from his stretch and slowly said: “Ok.”

So, three months later Haiji wanted to talk? Was it appropriate for him to tell Haiji _please wait, I need Prince’s help with this? Because I don’t actually know how to talk? I might be forgetting Japanese?_ Prince was currently off dying in a patch of shade under a tree but Kakeru was pretty sure he’d get up for this. 

It turned out, by the next words out of Haiji’s mouth, that maybe he didn’t need Prince’s help right now. Maybe he just needed to throw his phone across the field and run twenty laps. 

“The magazine is running an article about Kansei.” It was certainly not what Kakeru expected to her from him. He took a deep breath and leaned to the other side. He felt the sharp pull of going just close to too far. He pushed a little further. 

“They’ve done that before,” the words coming bitter out of his mouth. “What’s the issue?”

“No, like this,” Haiji’s voice was soft, Kakeru wasn’t sure he had heard it sound like this for a while. “You’ve gotten a lot of attention with your records and one of the writers here… he’s a dick. He’ll bend to any angle if it means standing out.”

Haiji was good at running...

“Haiji, what’s the problem?” he asked pointedly and his fingers clutched the phone tightly because Haiji hadn’t spoken to him for months and it wasn’t fair for him to toy with an issue now.

“It isn’t favorable. They spoke to teachers at Sendai Josei and to Sakaki.”

Kakeru was quiet. He pushed against the stretch until it made him wince. If that was the angle they took then he knew what the article was about. It was something he suspected would catch up to him one day. He had never thought he would be hearing about it from Haiji and especially not from Haiji’s own magazine publisher.

“I tried to stop it, Kakeru,” Haiji’s voice was sounding a little desperate, but Kakeru was getting angry enough not to care. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? You didn’t write it, I’m hoping.”

“No.” 

“And… and you don’t believe it?”

“Of course not, Kakeru….”

“Then I don’t care what that guy thinks about me,” he finished, firmly. He didn’t care, really. He cared what his team thought, he cared about what Haiji thought. Anyone else was just peripheral. “Then they can watch us get faster and stronger despite what they write about me.” 

“Kakeru, I’m sorry.” Haiji could have been talking about the paper, he could have been talking about leaving, or not calling. Maybe he was sorry for all of it and Kakeru was equally frustrated for all of it.

He cut Haiji off as he started to congratulate him on the record. “So, What the hell happened?” Kakeru hissed into the phone. “Why did you leave like that? I thought we…”

He was shaking now and glad to be sitting down. The cool earth was grounding him as his body felt like it was on fire. Haiji was quiet on the other line and Kakeru could only just make out his slow steady breathing. _Just ask him._

“Have you met your soulmate, then?” he let it tumble from his mouth before he could change his mind. He thought he could hear to softest of gasps.

“No,” Haiji answered after a moment. It was a soft, barely there whisper but it felt like thunder. “I haven’t.”

“Well. I don’t care. I don’t care if I’m not your soulmate even if…”

“But I care, Kakeru. You’ll care someday too. It will matter one day, and what will happen to us then?” 

Kakeru didn’t _care_ what happened then. He could deal with that when it came, if it meant having the light for just a little while longer. He knew he was stronger with Haiji, knew that being close to Haiji was like being plugged into an outlet - that the electricity that flowed through him made him stronger - faster - kinder.

“I need you, Haiji. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you, you were always exactly what I needed and who I needed to hear. These last few months I…” the words were catching in his breath because those last from months had been hard, harder than he could have expected.

Haiji’s voice was firm, distant. “ _Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross._ ” Kakeru didn’t understand the English. There was a beat of soft breathing before Haiji continued. “What use can I be of like this?” 

Kakeru felt desperate suddenly. “I don’t want to use you,” he stressed. “I want to _be with you._ ”

But the line had already gone quiet.

 

The majority of the team was beginning to head back, several of them giving a clap on Kakeru’s shoulder, others an inquiring look. By the time it was Prince passing him, Kakeru was sure this gaze had burned a few unsuspecting blades of grass. Prince paused beside him, knelt down, and watched him intently. 

“Would you like to read the next volume when we get back?” he asked and Kakeru knew Prince could tell something was wrong. That Prince was saying _this is what would make me feel better._

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Kakeru…”

“I asked him.”

“Oh?”

Prince sighed and flopped down on the grass beside him, he pushed around the pile of grass Kakeru had plucked from the ground.

“Kakeru…” he started softly. It was comforting that Kakeru didn’t have to elaborate on the answer. That Prince could read him and knew Haiji well enough to not have to ask. “Haven’t you noticed? When a goal is impossible Haiji makes it possible. If you tell him he can’t, he makes sure that he can. When you tell him not to run, he runs. Haiji’s always been very good at running and has trouble being pulled back from his extremes. He needs someone who doesn’t want to listen just as much as him.” 

Kakeru frowned and looked forward at the sun started to sink low by the trees and bleed into the sky. “Would his soulmate… would it be someone who could do that?”

“Probably, but who knows really?” Prince said, shrugging. “If there is anyone able to defy fate, it’s Haiji.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Haiji had left the bath house that night, more than a year ago now, he was at the edge of hope, teetering at the cliff of accepting Hakone could only be reserved for dreams. His towel was damp around his neck, hair loose and cool at the back of his nape until there was a rush of air and a streak of light. It’s touch brushed against him in a strange way firm, familiar, gentle all at once and _bright_. So bright the world got dark around it. 

A boy was running by him, encased in white light like a shooting star and for a moment Haiji’s eyes widened. It was like a filter had been clouding everything up until that point, that with a breath and a rush of air a curtain was pulled back and everything slid into focus. He had to remind himself to breathe because _knew what that meant_. 

With a sudden shaky excitement, he grabbed his bike and bolted after him. He chased him through the streets but didn’t call after him right away, the shock of what he was seeing before him had not worn off. A runner, who was fast with perfect form and who was - for all Haiji could tell - was Haiji’s soulmate which should have been _crazy_ but that’s what a soulmate was, wasn’t it? A person who clicked into your life in such a way that to complete it like the last missing piece of the puzzle. 

So, Haiji had found his tenth man and soulmate all in the same night. 

Or he had thought anyways. . When Kurahara Kakeru’s sharp eyes caught his they were resolutely flat, annoyed, blank of any otherworldly revelation and Haiji knew this boy couldn’t see things the same way he did. 

He still chased after Kakeru as the tenth man, still held out hope that maybe he was wrong. Pulling anything out of Kakeru was like dental work and Haiji pushed further down any hope he had that Kakeru saw light in Haiji the way he saw him. He resolved to make a good teammate of him, to push him and pull him in the right direction and to desperately ignore any desires he had to kiss the scowls of his face. Luckily, they eventually worked their way off his face on their own which actually somehow made it even harder not to want to kiss him. 

But Haiji’s resolve was strong and his desire to avoid soul crushing heartbreak from an unrequited soulmate was even stronger. 

Kakeru had, at the very least, been the missing puzzle piece that Haiji had needed. He supposed that would have to be okay. 

 

Four months after moving out of Aotake, Haiji sat in front of his laptop with a cup of tea and a deep set frown. It had been months since he had seen Kakeru and even longer since seeing him run. He had thought, possibly, that the separation would make him feel better about this whole thing but it somehow had gotten _worse_. Now he ached, decidedly alone in his apartment and waiting for the local sports broadcast to start because he supposed it was better than nothing. 

It took him a moment to find him on the flickering screen, being whisked around by a pushy reporter as he was setting the team up. He seemed not suited up for running today, because he was in green track pants and a black shirt with bright lettering that said _The mountains of Hakone are…_

Kakeru was so _cute_. Too cute. Haiji felt stupidly weak and grateful for several towns and a computer screen separating them. 

“Kurahara-san! Can you take a moment to comment on the article on Sports Nippon. ”

Kakaru looked cross immediately which probably didn’t help his case and made Haiji wince, but his voice was even when he responded. “I have no comment on that, but I will answer any questions you have about the team.”

“Well - are you planning on breaking your record today? When was the last time you’ve seen Fujioka?”

“I am not running today, I’m here to help members of our team who need qualifying times. Now if you excuse me…”

“What about the allegations that you are pushing to team too hard? Last year, your captain shattered his patella? Another ran his section with the flu?”

Haiji hissed in a breath of air. _That was me. I pushed them, they pushed themselves._

It was a wonder that Kakeru was remaining so calm because Haiji could feel the anger vibrating from him in waves. He could see it in the small slate to Kakeru’s eyes and he took another deep inhale. 

“You are welcome to ask any of the men who _currently_ run with me what they think but I’m done here.”

Before she could ask him another question, Kakeru was bending in a very quick bow before swiveling away to leave her gapping momentarily with the microphone loose in her grip.

“Well,” she seemed trying to cover. “It appears that Kurahara is tight lipped and not participating in matches following the article published last…”

That was enough. Haiji exited the page. There was a strange still resolve settling in his chest and he took a few breaths before opening his email to his drafts. He selected an untitled one penned to Ishida and CCed Oikawa, named it quickly and hit send before he could change his mind. 

 

Kakeru didn’t see the article right away. It was tucked too deep into the pages of Sports Nippon, a publication he rarely read anyways, especially now. He simply did everything he normally did daily. Lead early morning runs, attend classes, lead afternoon practices, gather everyone for dinners and attempt not to think about Haiji Kiyose too much. There was a tightness in his chest daily, like he was always back there hovering in the recesses of Kakeru’s hurried mind and when something bright flashed in his peripheral he would hope for a moment before realizing it was simply his mind projecting into other things. 

They were preparing for a meet when Akihiro came in scratching his head with a rolled up magazine in his other hand. “Did you see this article?”

When he squinted at the magazine, Kakeru recognizes the logo. “The one from Sports Nihon? It’s pretty old and I don’t care what that asshole says about me.”

“That assholes…? _Haiji_ wrote this. Unless you knew that and you’re still being weird about him. I’m surprised this got printed, it’s practically a love letter.”

He didn’t even realize he’d made his way towards Nico. Kakeru snatched the magazine out of his hand and found a dog eared page. 

 

_Among Stars - Addendum to a Runner_

_By Kiyose Haiji_

It was small, as if the magazine added it as an afterthought and didn’t include a picture but it was real and the words were printed right under Kakeru’s thumb as they ran over the page. 

He suddenly felt very cold. Bathed in a stunned and icy silence. 

It was written with such care Kakeru could hardly believe that someone he knew had written it but the longer he stared at the words the more he could see Haiji in them. He let his eyes settled on the last line of the page and stared at it until the edges of his vision blurred. “ _Kurahara Kakeru doesn’t take steps like other runners do. When he runs, the world slows around him and a white line extends from his feet trailing bright like a shooting star across a darkened sky._ ” Akihiro’s voice was cutting through his thoughts. “...you know? I don’t know exactly what happened between you two but he must have gone through some trouble to get this printed. Is he your…?”

“Can you call him? Invite him to the meet tomorrow. I’d like to see him to thank him. ”

“That probably should be you.”

“No. He might not come if it’s me. Just tell him the guys would like it if their old heichou cheered them on. Tell him Prince is running.”

 

Kakeru has never felt sick before a track meet before but he felt a quivering sickness in him as he lined up before their run the next day. An itch to leave the world behind him and simply run - to leave it all and not worry about it anymore. No more classes he had to struggle through, no more stubborn first years he had to guide, no more brown eyes to miss or soulmates to ache for. Just him and the ground under his feet and the sky above. 

When the gun went off, that’s what he did - he left it behind. It felt easy suddenly, once he was a few steps into it. He felt light, lighter than he had at Hakone and blazing like his body was a flame shooting up a wick and bursting through the air. At a point mid way through, when he couldn’t see those around him anymore and it was simply him and the track in front of him, he felt like his feet weren’t even hitting the ground. The ache in his quads felt good, the sharpness in his lungs a welcome friend, the sting in his eyes new. 

When he reached the finish line, he was suddenly sad it was over. He looked at the clock and could vaguely note that he’d never run that fast before. 

He crossed his arms behind his head and took deep breaths as he watched the others run. There weren’t many of them left that needed qualifying times, 3 more behind him but they’d still have several minutes left to go. He glances around the field, up towards the stand and back down towards the fence for something - anything - a flash, a mess of chestnut hair and a green track jacket, a man with a soft limp in his step. There was nothing but the bustle of other teams from what he could see. 

Some of the others made their way towards him, cheering and yelling and bustling into him suddenly. 

“Kakeru!!! You did it!”

“You should have seen yourself!!”

He grinned. “That felt… _amazing.”_

“Holy shit you were so _fast!”_

“I don’t - I’m not even sure what happened. I haven’t felt like that since Hakone, like I wasn’t even touching the ground... like I was flying,” he started laughing suddenly. “Was I?”

“You practically were!”

_...Like a shooting star across a darkened sky._

There was a soft laughter that shot right through him. 

When Kakeru felt the hand on his shoulder and he knew who it belonged to without seeing him. Warmth flooded down through his sternum as the twins serged forward and pushed past his shoulders . 

“HAIJI!”

 

Haiji has missed it, watching Kakeru run, has missed _him_. When Nico-chan had called him it wasn’t as if he had been surprised. After the magazine realized he was sure that he was going to have to face all of this sooner or later. 

That’s how he found himself beside Kakeru now, as he was being watched by shocked, deep blue eyes. They seem to hold a few questions, maybe too many questions. _Why are you here. Where have you been. Why won’t you talk to me. Why did you leave._

He shrugs and doesn’t answer any of them. He muses out loud instead. “You’re the biggest thing in college running right now.”

Kakeru shrugs back. They had stepped aside and the twins had gone off to finish cheering for and collecting the others. “I’m not to worried about all that, I mean- it’s nice but it helps them more. It’s motiving.”

The second year, Minami was passing by them with an arm full of bottled waters. Kakeru calls his name out and give him a thumbs up. 

“I’m glad you realized that. Even if it’s to help your little stalker, wasn’t that what you called him?”

“Ah, haha. Yeah. He isn’t too bad. Might still be a little bit of a stalker though but he helps me and Shindou with a lot and he’s doing well.”

“Oh. Have you and he…”

“ _What_? No. Haiji. You can’t ask that.”

“You’re.. right actually. I can’t.”

Kakeru looks bothered for a moment and then takes a deep breath. 

“Minami,” he calls over to him, he bent to shuffle in his bag for the rolled up magazine he’d set under his shoes and jacket as Minami jogs over. “Can you get the guys stretching out for me?”

“Sun Salutation! You got it!”

“What? Why… ok, sure. That works.”

The stands were crowded with guests waiting for other races to complete, families of runners in various college colors most of whom seemed blissfully unaware that two stars were coming together again for the first time in months. Haiji looked up and his eyes squinted into the sun as it shone down onto the slight curve of Kakeru’s smile. “I see you have the guys doing yoga now? That’s a great idea! It really benefits muscle flexibility and aides recovery.”

Haiji stopped and watched as Kakeru didn’t move to join the others. His voice dropped lower, but stayed even and light. “You should stretch too, Kakeru.”

He was acting so casually, which must have been strange to Kakeru, talking about yoga warm ups as if nothing had happened - as if he hadn’t run off and not spoken to him for four months. The world quivered around Kakeru. Haiji wasn’t sure if he was angry or upset. Haiji himself felt so filled to his fingertips with longing that he couldn’t hold it anymore. They longed to reach out but instead he used both hands to gently push at Kakeru’s shoulders. “Stretch. You don’t want to end up like me.”

“I’m stiff, I think I waited too long, “ he met the boldness in Haiji’s eyes with his own as he adjusted his bag to his shoulder. “Will you help your kouhai out?”

Haiji sighed. “You aren’t my kouhai anymore,” but he went to kneel with Kakeru off towards the side of the track and was careful to keep his right leg stretched out as he pressed against Kakeru’s back. 

He hadn’t realized that Kakeru had pulled out a copy of Sport Nippon until it was already unfurled on the ground in front of him.

“What is this?” His voice was shaky as he shoved the article in front of its author. Haiji was grateful no one seemed to be paying attention to them. At track events it was normal for one or both of them to be noticed and bombarded. Kansei was still of stretching with their sudo vice-captain a ways further down the track. Haiji drew in a deep breath, under his hands Kakeru seemed to be holding his.

“It’s an addendum I wrote to correct the last article,” Haiji voice was very calm and matter of fact, as if it was the simplest thing even though he didn’t feel very calm. He felt like he did all the times he had trained himself to look composed, a sleek outer shell housing a ticking time bomb. 

“Why did you describe me like that?” Kakeru asked tentatively. 

Haiji remembered writing quite a lot of things, about Kakeru’s help with the team and his work with Prince, the inspiration he gave to the rest of them, the support to their captain, but he could also remember writing a few other things - that the world slowed around him, that a white line extended from his feet. The world was slowing now and Haiji felt like he was somehow catching up to it all at once. 

“Kakeru, I’m really sorry for how I’ve been the last few months.”

“Why did you _describe me like that_? Like I’m…”

“Ethereal,” Haiji breathes the word softly between them.

“Yes. Like that. You told me you didn’t know who your soulmate was. Is that true?”

“Oh. Ah, no. I lied.” Haiji moved to sit on the ground next to Kakeru and lets his shoulders shrug into the feeling of letting it out into the open.

Kakeru scrambled around to face him, eyes blazing with something Haiji can’t read. Anger maybe. Kakeru’s never been great at controlling it.

“ _Why?_ ” and he definitely _does_ sound angry now.

“Because I know I’m not yours and I couldn’t bare knowing that every moment we’d be together there was someone else out there for you. That I would just be waiting for someone to come along. But I,” he stopped so he could search for the words. Haiji got the feeling that the world could have crashed around them and Kakeru still would have been staring at him, dumbstruck. Haiji continued on carefully and started to reach out towards Kakeru again. “I couldn't take it anymore, hiding it. I thought staying away would make it better but it hasn't, even if you find someone else...” 

“Haiji. Stop. There’s no one else.”

He froze, his hand hovered over Kakeru’s, a breath away but immobile as if he kept his body so still he’d never had to move past the hope that those few words had shot through him. He couldn’t look at Kakeru, because he knew all of that would be painted on his face. He simply swallowed, thick and painful. 

“It’s you.”

Suddenly, it didn’t feel like they were at the track anymore. It felt like the world had dropped out from under him. 

Haiji had convinced himself - no, had _known_ that Kakeru couldn’t see him as his soulmate. What could he possibly be saying now?

“What?”

“It’s you. I didn’t know what anything was at first, not even back when we - you know. Prince had to tell me about it all. You’re fucking comet Haiji and it’s driving me insane not being with you. Everything pales to you.” 

Haiji could barely process the words.

“If you’ve known this whole time then why did you act like that when you moved here? I thought there was no way, I was sure-”

“I didn’t see it then. It wasn’t until Hakone. When did you - ?”

“The moment I met you.”

This was crazy. It was truly crazy to think that he’d been keeping himself from Kakeru this whole time when...

Kakeru was actually laughing now. “So we’re both stupid,” he said gently. “Why does that make me feel better?”

Haiji let his hand fall on to Kakeru’s and watched his dark eyes widen as he stared down at them. If they weren’t in the middle of a track meet, he would have been more bold. He felt exposed enough already, and he had been waiting long enough that he would be okay with waiting just a little longer.

“I texted you,” Kakeru continued softly. “Like a thousand times.”

He had seen them. He had deleted them. He hated himself a bit more as he squeezed Kakeru’s hand and pleaded. 

“Come over after the meet? Please?”

“I should be with the team afterwards. Maybe after dinner?”

“I can pick you up.”

“No! I mean - I don’t want you to go out of your way. The last train runs at 10:15. I’ll take that one.”

 

10:30 felt decades away, chewing at his insides and twisting them up. Sometime after, he checked his phone to find a text from Kakeru. 

_I just got off the bus. How did it start pouring rain while I was on the bus without an umbrella. See you soon._

Haiji pushed the curtains back to the drops of rain trailing down the glass and tried to peer out at the street. He cursed himself for not hearing the rain or checking his phone sooner, but he’d had music on while nervously tidying up. He was a mile from the train station which meant Kakeru would be walking that mile in the rain. He started to type a message, that he would come get him from the station and just to wait there. The text from Kakeru was minutes old, the idiot was probably out in the rain already. 

Out of the corner of his eye was a flash of light. He squinted to the street and zipping rounding the corner like lightning was Kakeru. Hurriedly Haiji went to grab a towel and then came back to open the door. Kakeru was panting and looked down at his watch then looked up beneath rain soaked bangs and smiled, breathless and glowing. 

“Hi.”

Finally, Haiji let himself smile back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
